paperwork, paperwork...will it end?

We wonder if the paperwork will ever end?? We have to sign and notarize yet another statement that we have never committed a crime in NY State. We have already had our fingerprints checked, have signed statements and references that we don't have a criminal record, and yet we have to sign and notarize another statement again clarifying that we do not have a criminal record. It seems so silly sometimes, doing everything over and over again. On another note, the Dept. of Social Services asked me if I would offer "support services" to a grandmother who suddenly has custody of her daughter's four children. DSS wants me to essentially babysit 4 children, ages 2, 3, 5 & 8, to give the grandma a break. Too bad the whole situation with the four kids stinks. I can't elaborate (privacy laws), but what a mess!! My heart hurts for the kids. At least watching these children will give me practice with younger kids, and it will keep me busy while we wait for BingHui.

Another year

Well, it's now 2009 and our resolution is to have BingHui here by the end of the year. It MIGHT be possible, if everything goes exactly as planned. We have our homestudy completed, except for the fingerprint clearance for me. Yep, once again my finger prints were rejected by Albany and sent back as not readable. It's such baloney. I am beginning to think that Albany automatically rejects a certain percentage of the fingerprint cards just to clear- off someone's desk. My fingerprints were rejected twice before (when printed for teaching certification, and when we got our clearance for foster care) so I made doubly certain that each and every print was as clear as a bell before we submitted the card for the FBI check. Oh well, it's just one more small thing. Now, David has to order a new birth certificate, and we are done with round two of the paperwork. David's birth certificate shows his birth name and not his present name; he changed his name to match his mother's name after his parents divorced. I know that immigration will have a field day with me--I've had 5 last names!!! No lie. I was born Richards, my mom remarried and they legally changed my name to Olmstead, and then I was married three times--Burkhart, Rohlfing and now Peters. Yikes! Nothing more for us to do right now, except wait.

Moving forward--we found our new son!

Wow! I can't believe I haven't blogged in almost a month! Time certainly does slip away. Well, the last month has brought significant progress. After our appointment with the two specialists, we went to the drawing board (and by this I mean the internet) to find our new son. We had to identify (choose) a child that we wished to adopt and then fill out the application for him. With literally hundreds of thousands of children in orphanages waiting to be adopted, this was a daunting task. It was up to us to search the thousands of children listed, and find the right "match." We knew that we wanted a boy between the ages of 18months and 14years, which narrowed it down somewhat because there are more girls available to adopt than boys. We chose to adopt from China, rather than Ethiopia or Taiwan, only because China has an established (and rule-based) program. Other countries seem to make up the procedures as they go along. Yes, Ethiopian children probably are in more desperate need than Chinese children, but we just weren't up for years of waiting, rules changing, and then torment. We had a friend who adopted from Africa, and at the airport on the way out of the country they were detained for three days. They finally had to bribe a flight attendant to be allowed to board the plane. In China, the program is a well-oiled machine. Anyway, we did finally select a boy from Beijing, named Bing Hui. In his photo, he is leaning up against a tree, almost hugging it. He has round, rosy cheeks, and he's 5 years old. Now, we are just waiting for the Chinese government to approve our application. The Dr. we consulted with approved BingHui's medical records. She went over his lab reports, and all his medical information carefully. He will need medical care for a few minor issues, but nothing we can't handle. He also needs lots of dental work, which is not uncommon for children in orphanages. BingHui lives in a foster home in Beijing, which is good because that means his nutrition is probably better, and he has bonded with his foster parents most likely. The ability to bond is established at a young age, and sometimes children living in institutions have trouble with attachment issues, according to our doctor. So, that's what's new on the Peters' adoption front. We now know our future son, and his name is BingHui!!

A road with many twists

We met with the two specialists Friday about our adoption plans and to discuss which child we should adopt. They strongly suggested that we choose to adopt from the Beijing area. The children in Beijing have better nutrition, education, and care overall. Yes, we want to help a needy child, but the specialists told us to choose a child who has the best chance to succeed. It's tough to "pick" our new child, and we were very happy for the guidance of the social worker and the adoption pediatrician. They have years and years of experience with adoptive parents, and we were very fortunate to get an appointment with them. If David was not partners with an attorney who knows the Dr., we would never have been able to get an appointment with these specialists. Also,we know that there are literally thousands of children waiting adoption, many who are healthy. On the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) shared list of children waiting for families is 6,778 pages long!!! Americans have adopted over 100,000 children from China in the last ten years. Wow! We'll just keep waiting for the right one for us,as we look more closely at children from Beijing area.

Do They Know it's Christmas?

Ok--I know I'm early, but I just received an official letter from the Department of Social Services to submit our foster child's gift list prior to Thanksgiving so that the gifts could be purchased in a timely manner. WE don't currently have a foster child; I just thought it was interesting that children in foster care automatically receive a Christmas gift financed by the Department of Social Services (our taxes). Don't get me wrong--it's wonderful, sweet and generous, and I don't mean to sound like Scrooge, but I can't help thinking about the song, "Do they know it's Christmas?" that was released in the 80s about Ethiopia's famine and the children who really live in poverty. With the economic down-turn, I would like to see Christmas gifts this year focus more on giving to others who are hungry, and less on receiving toys and other trivial gifts.
Sandy

Naming isn't easy (AUSTIN!)

Everyone in my family has blogged a lot, and I mean a lot, especially Connor.Therefore, I am not very good at it, so I'll try my best and you let me know how I did (lol). So anyway, as you all have probably heard a billion times. We are trying to adopt a Chinese boy. My parents are constantly discussing what we should name him. I think that we should just keep his Chinese name. It will make everything easier so that we don't have to go through the process of "Do you like this name? What about this name? How about naming him this?" Besides, everyone in our family enjoys saying names in Chinese! I think it's just the fact of how it rolls over your tongue and whistles through your teeth. I just love saying Xiao, our exchange student's name. I am really looking forward to getting another brother. Adopting another brother will really change the trajectory of our futures (in a positive way). I know, I know, you are probably thinking that there must be another side of the story. Well, there is.Well, don't get me wrong, I like the whole adoption idea and everything, it's just that I'm afraid that if we get another child that he will be another Connor. You can only have so much of Connor. You can only put up with Connor in small doses, so living with him can sometimes be a pain. I am afraid that mom will treat our new little brother like she treats Connor; you know, with the whole "Oh, he's so brilliant, and articulate." That gets me so annoyed! Well anyway the chances of my new brother being another Connor is pretty slim. Well I have to go now Xiao (our exchange student) wants me to go break dance with him.

Connor's (age 9) comments

In the Chinese orphanage, I heard that everyone shares a bed. There's usually 5-10 people in one room. So I will have to share my bed with my new little brother so that will know me better and get used to me. We have an extra bedroom, but my new brother will not want to be alone in a strange country. I will hope that he will like me. I can take care of him like I do with my little cousin, Eric.