swearing in ceremony

This afternoon we went to the American consulate to do the “swearing in” ceremony. This is merely a formality, since the adoption is actually already (technically) ,legal in China. However, at the American Consulate all the families (over 300 per week!!) swear an oath that they told the truth on the adoption paperwork, and they promise that will be good parents to the children that they adopted. It was quick, but a little emotional too, at least for me. I actually teared up a bit. It is the final step in the adoption process, and finally we are done! Really, 100% done--finished. Unless, of course, we decide we want to re-adopt the boys in the US. But that is another whole story, and we don’t need to worry about that now. So, back to the beginning of our day today; we left the hotel at 2:30pm for the oath (I was quite happy to go there, because really, I just couldn’t stand not even one more minute of TV) to drive to the consulate with our guide. She left us there while she went to go pick up the Visa packet for the other family; we hung out in a waiting room, until they called our name to sign some documents. While we were there waiting, I noticed a boy approximately Ben’s age. I struck up a conversation with his parents, and, amazingly enough, they are from Syracuse. They just adopted a boy that was only a year younger than Ben!! They also have a 15, 13 and 11 year olds at home! Our new sons played with the toys, and the adoptive mother and I just hit it off and talked and talked and talked. They are Christians too, and our reasons for adopting seem to be similar. She even graduated from SUNY Geneseo, and she knew our area well. Of course, she blogs too, and she thinks she might have actually read our blog! She follows a blog from a Geneseo soon-to-be adoptive family, but she’s not sure if it’s ours or not. How many Geneseo adoptive blogs can there be? She will look up the link when she gets home, and send it to me (if it’s not actually us). Anyway, I as usual, I pause to wonder why I am always amazed at how things work out. We decided (and you need to realize, we only chatted for less than 30 min) that we would meet this summer at Letchworth Park. Honestly, it was that quick. We just knew we each had met someone of kindred spirit, and yes, I again stop to wonder why I am continually amazed at how things work. At the risk of boring many of our blog followers, I will say, on record, that God works in mysterious ways. After all that emotional experience, we had a simple dinner at the hotel, and then, out of the blue, Cheng’s parents called us at the hotel. It was almost a tearful reunion. They miss us all so much, and of course we (and our children)miss them. She spoke to each one of the kids on the phone, and they were so happy to hear from here! And, although we don’t speak the same language, Cheng’s mom told Connor she will see him again soon in America. Hmm. It looks like we might have Chinese family visiting soon!!

Connor's post

Hey, this is Connor again! Yesterday, we had the whole day to ourselves. Well, the whole day except for the first half. But we went shopping at the Guangzhou market, and that isn’t boring like going to the hospital or offices. So, I still consider the two hours spent at the Guangzhou market to be leisure. I cannot believe that we spent half of the day at Guangzhou market, and only bought a cheap drum rattle thing. There was nothing I was really interested in buying, except for a sweet knife that the ancient Chinese warriors used. Of course, mom wouldn’t let me buy it. It’s not like I’ll go around injuring people. Well, I know that I can’t get everything I want.
When we were browsing in the Guangzhou market, there were a number of animals in cages that you could buy as a pet. My family passed a cage with three little puppies in it. There was a golden retriever ( just like Maggie when she was a puppy) and two huskies. They were so cute we couldn’t help but pet them, even though mom said they might not have shots. A few days ago, we were walking from a restaurant, and we saw a golden retriever on the corner that looked Just like Maggie and Luke! I really miss them. They are such good dogs! Anyway, that was fun. Too bad I didn’t really get to buy anything.
After shopping, we went to a roller-skating rink we saw in the park. I forgot how hard it was to skate. I haven’t skated in a long time, plus they were the type with 4 wheel arranged in a square. I have never used those kind before. I fell an awful lot, and my knee kills from falling. Well, that’s about it for yesterday. I have to go now, and I will probably write more later. See ya!

I am back from breakfast! We just went down to the buffet on floor #1. I was talking to Ben about the dogs. I said in Chinese, I love dogs, do you? And he answered I also love dogs. Ben keeps calling me Counner (Connor). He is so cute. I love him!

March 29th, 2010

In the morning yesterday, we went shopping in China. No, not Prada, Gucci or designer clothes; although the city is absolutely teaming with designer labels. It would be a fashionista’s paradise. Instead, we went to a Qinqping market and Shanxiajui pedestrian street. Qingping market is where local Chinese people buy herbs, spices, roots, dried lizards, and snake skins. It was quite interesting to see. We did not go to the part of the market where they sell the meat (live animals for butchering) though. We did pass through the pet-store area too. Then we headed to the wholesale jade market, and the wholesale pearl market. What an amazing sight! Floors and floors of jewels, piled high. Businesses come to Guangzhou to buy jewels in bulk. The only thing we ended up buying was a noise-maker toy for Ben. As you know by now, I’m not a shopper, and have no interest in buying jewelry. It was fun to see, though, for a few minutes. We returned to the hotel by 1pm, and sat in the lobby with the kids eating ice-cream. After a nap, at 4p we took the boys roller-skating at the park that is 15 min. walk from the hotel. Our guide showed us how to get there the other day. I rented a pair of skates too, and I was surprised that I remembered how to skate pretty well. David chased Ben around, since he is too little for skates at this particular park. John knew how to skate already, and Connor figured it out fairly quickly. I did feel sorry for Connor though, because John kept laughing at him whenever he fell. I hope he’s not going to be a mean big-brother to Connor. Austin picks on Connor enough. I was hoping John would be kind. David tells me that is just how brothers are; I shouldn’t intercede unless someone is going to get hurt. So far, we all baby Ben. He is quite small, and we all treat him as if he is 3 or 4 years old. Ben even asks to be carried everywhere. David puts him on his back usually, and people stare at us as we walk around the city. Our guide asked us if we wanted to go on another city tour today, with a stop at another park. I thought it was better than sitting around the hotel room, but during dinner last night (Italian food) both Connor and John said that they didn’t want to go anywhere. Both boys just want to sleep in and be lazy in the morning. Yes, they are bored, but they also don’t want to be shuffled out the door every morning. It’s almost 9am now and both John and David are still sleeping!! I’m wondering if John is up during the night. I always hear Ben when he awakens, but I haven’t heard John wander around at all. However, this morning my computer was again set on the Chinese language. I’m going to have to make it time-out and request a password. Our guide told me that John has a QQ account (or whatever it’s called) and he wants to talk to his friends online. Of course he misses his friends, but chatting with them online in secret at night is not be the best way for him to adjust. At home, we don’t let the children use the computer unless it’s for homework, and our internet is limited anyway. I guess I have to diligently monitor the internet for awhile.

March 27, 2010

I didn’t blog yesterday because we mostly spent the day traveling to Guangzhou. Our U.S. consulate is in Guangzhou China; therefore, we have to stay in Guangzhou for a week for the boys’ vaccinations, medical exams, and to apply for their visas to travel to the U.S. In Beijing, the adoption was finalized, and we applied for their passports. We left the Ascott Hotel Beijing yesterday at 9:45am to go to the airport. The boys were fantastic on the airplane, although John was a tad bit nervous. The flight was 3 hours, and a guide met us at the airport in Guangzhou to take us to our hotel. The Garden Hotel, where we are staying, is much more impressive looking than the hotel in Beijing. There are stuffed peacocks, ornate gold ceilings, waterfalls, murals, etc. etc. all designed to wow the traveler when he enters the lobby. We had two bell-hops and three housekeepers escort us to our room. The room itself is quite a bit smaller though, than the hotel in Beijing. I chose the Ascott in Beijing because it is apartment style. We had a full kitchen and 2000 sq. feet of living space at the Ascott. We have a suite here, but it is small and we are on top of each other. After our check-in, we walked to a mall area across the street to eat. It is warm and tropical here, similar to Florida. There are palm trees and lots of flowers among the millions of buildings. For the first time since we arrived, we ordered all on our own (without Cheng’s parents) in a Chinese restaurant. I did great with the food, we liked everything I ordered, but I made the mistake of trying to order wine too. The waiters brought a fancy bottle of something and they opened it before I had a chance to see exactly what it was. I think it was some sort of liquor, similar to Scotch. Yuck. I took one tiny sip and that was the end of that; David didn’t like it either. I couldn’t even stand the smell! Since it was opened, we had to pay for it, and it was 480 RMB (over $100!!), we took the bottle back to our hotel to leave for the housekeepers when we checkout. I won’t make that mistake again, that’s for sure. We went to bed shortly after dinner, around 8p.
Today, Saturday, we had to take the boys to a medical clinic for exams. We met another family (who adopted a 14 month old baby this time, and a baby 5 years ago), and we headed to Shamian Island for the medical appointments. The clinic was jammed with adoptive families, and we had to go from “station” to “station.” One station weighed the kids, the next examined their eyes, the next their blood pressure, etc. We arrived at 10:30a and left at 1:30p. Our boys had to receive 3-4 shots each, and they were great the entire time. I’m not just saying that, either. They were shuffled from Dr. to Dr. to Dr. on a medical assembly line, and they were just cooperative and overall wonderful, in spite of the stress, crowds, and invasion of privacy. While we were there, we chatted with four or five other adoptive couples. Almost all of the couples we spoke to told us that they competed their adoption applications over four years ago; after three years of waiting for a healthy infant, they all switched to the special needs program and completed their adoptions within 8 months. The couple we rode the bus with, adopted a girl with cleft palate. We feel very lucky that our children are healthy overall. On the way back to the hotel, Ben fell asleep and David carried him into the hotel. Now, we are resting while watching Cartoon Network. At 3:30 today, I have to go to the 28th floor (with the guide and another couple) to complete the Visa packet for the consulate appointment on Monday. David will take the boys to the pool to swim probably.

It’s later now, and I can finish typing this blog entry. I spent about an hour (3:30-4:30) completing the Visa paperwork with our guide this afternoon, and David took the kids to the pool. Unfortunately, David found out that the pool is an outdoor pool, and it’s not open until April 1st. I called our guide at 5p, to tell her that sorry, but she needs to find us another hotel, with an indoor (or outdoor heated) pool. She will let me know tomorrow how she makes out. She told me that because Guangzhou is in the south, most of the pools are outdoors, and they are not open until April. I’m wondering why no one told us that before today. So, I asked our guide to work on our hotel more because we have three boys in very close quarters, and they might kill each other if they don’t have a place to work off some energy.
It’s a bit frustrating for us sometimes because everything is geared towards people adopting babies, and no one seems prepared for parents of older children. When we checked into the hotel, for instance, there was a crib set up in our room with baby toys, powder etc. I had to tell housekeeping that we needed a roll-away bed, not a crib. The adoption agency booked us a ton of tours that would be interesting to adults with a sleeping baby in tow, but not much fun for children. This afternoon I actually became quite direct and asked our guide, Jennifer, if she had any children. She said yes, a six year old boy. I then asked her if her son would want to go on the tour (a museum)scheduled for us for tomorrow. Well, no, he would be bored. Well, then… our kids don’t want to go on it either. Can’t she find a park or playground for our kids, or something they would enjoy? I came right out and said to Jennifer, “We are not tourists. We are here for our children, and if our kids are bored, then it’s not fun for us either.” It was only an hour later when I called her room to tell her that this hotel simply wasn’t going to do it for us if it doesn’t have a pool open. Jennifer then told me about a lovely “garden” to take the children for a walk. We went down to check it out, and it was really gorgeous and would be a fantastic backdrop for a wedding, or a movie set. The kids would have liked it too, if I let them try to catch some of the goldfish in the ponds or climb the trees. Unfortunately, it was a waterfall garden full of exotic plants, beautiful walkways, pavilions, and hidden alcoves—really ideal for a romantic stroll. Our boys rolled down a grassy slope a few times, picked a few of the protected species (when I wasn’t looking), and scared the fish. Then we decided to head to dinner before someone called security. During dinner, western style at the restaurant at the hotel, the boys were kicking each other under the table, telling each other to shut-up (in Chinese) and in general, fighting and bickering. Yep. A little over a week of close quarters and togetherness (in a tiny hotel room) and it’s time to separate the children already. On the plus side, I finally got to have a decent glass of wine with my meal! We are back to watching Cartoon Network on TV because there really isn’t anything else for them to do here. We can’t wait to get home!

Adoption March 25th

Another long and busy day here in Beijing! After a sleepless night (Ben kept us all awake all night) we left at 8:15am to go to the Civil Affairs office to complete the paperwork there. Ben was running a low-grade fever during the night and he cried all night, so we expected a rough day today overall. Although he was cranky and tired, Ben was actually great during the first appointment of the day. The Civil Affairs worker, Ms. School, remembered us from the other day, and she asked us if she could send her child to us for a foreign exchange. She actually offered to take Connor at her house, and we could take her son, who is the same age, in a language exchange! Our guide decided that I must have impressed Ms. School with my gift the other day, since she thinks that we’d make good host parents for her child. I told her to give me her email, and I’d send her the information on AFS exchange programs and how to apply. Joking with Ben, Ms. School asked him if he was ready to return to his hometown now. Wow!! We would never say something so insensitive to a newly adopted child. Lucky for us, Ben answered, no; he just wants to go back to the hotel. After the Civil Affairs Office appointment, which took 90 min.at least, we had to go to the Notary Office to have all the documents notarized. We were escorted into a big conference room to wait with several other families for the documents to be notarized. Until now, I haven’t mentioned the other family that we keep running into at various adoption checkpoints, including the notary office. They are an older couple (in mid to late 50’s) who are adopting a girl who is almost 7. Their new daughter has significant special needs, and Chinese people stare at them and whisper. Why would they adopt a girl? Why would they adopt a child has developmental delays? After talking to the other parents, we found out that they have another daughter, age 6, at home already. She is also from China, and they adopted her as a baby. They applied to adopt a second child 4 years ago, and then waited 3 years for a healthy infant before deciding to accept a special needs child. It’s weird how the term “special needs” has so many different definitions. Our children are considered special needs adoptions because they are over the age of 3 and both need minor surgeries. The family we met this week adopted a child with a multitude of significant special needs. I guess it’s all a matter of opinion as what is special and what is simply impossible.But I digress. We waited for a long time (close to 90 min) at the Notary Office,when we finally received 8-10 copies of all the official documents notarized. Then we left for the passport office. Now remember, we have a feverish 6 year old and two tween boys with us during all these government appointments—we feel quite fortunate that no one has had a crisis/meltdown/fight/ yet. The passport office also took forever, it seemed,although everyone managed to behave and we got the job done. Ben didn’t want to take his hood off to have his photo taken, but alas, new photos in hand, the orphanage director (who met us at the passport office) applied for the boys’ passports. Finally, five or six hours after we left the hotel, we headed back to our room. On the van trip back, I gave Ben a sweet-roll, just to keep him awake. Poor little guy was ready to fall over, he was so tired. We returned to the room, and I went across the street to get a pizza. We ate a late lunch, and David and the boys went down for a nap. Cheng’s mom, in the meantime, had called David and told him she was on her way over to our hotel to take me SHOPPING. Now, anyone who knows me at all, knows that shopping is my most HATED, absolutely DETESTED activity. I’ll spend all morning in government offices without too much complaining, but shopping is sheer torture for me. I do need to buy gifts for our family and friends, however.By 3pm we were at a shopping area that is famous for ripping off tourists far and wide. But most tourists don’t have my secret weapon, Cheng’s parents. Ha! I would go into a “shop” ( like a booth at a flea market), pick out what I thought I might want to buy, and then step back and let them bargain. I had to be willing to walk away (and since I don’t like to shop, that was easy for me) and let them decide if it was worth the price. Actually, it was fun to watch them “work.” Cheng’s parents would get angry, and walk away; the shopkeeper would throw the item on the floor; Cheng’s parents would criticize the quality of the item, and we would walk away again; the vendor would get more and more anxious to make a sale-- and all this was in the first minute. Then the bargaining was just beginning. Really, by the end, I began to feel sorry for the shopkeepers. It must be hard to actually make a living, although I guess there are a ton of foreigners who are willing to pay half the asking price, thinking they got a deal. Just so you have a clearer picture of the mark-up, we were quoted a price of 800 yuan for an item, and Cheng’s parents bought it for 100 yuan (less than $20). They asked another man (walking by) what he paid for the same item, and he told them 1600 yuan. Yes, he paid 16 times what we paid, and he was still happy with his purchase. If you ever go to China, be a tough shopper, or be prepared to spend too much. After shopping, we left the hotel for dinner. Ben was feeling better after his afternoon nap, but during dinner, he started to fade away fast. He didn’t want to eat much, looked feverish again, and was just ready for bed. As always when he’s tired, he began to reminisce. He told Cheng’s parents about his hometown and the circumstances of his coming to be available for adoption. Ben told Cheng’s parents that he knows his family name (we were told this info was pinned to him, with his date of birth), and that his father did not have a job. His family couldn’t feed him. We knew that this information was left with him when he was found by the police, but we didn’t know that Ben was actually aware of all this information. We thought we would inform him later, when he is older and asks us questions about his adoption. We are glad that he knows already, and that he is comfortable enough to share that information with Cheng’s parents (and us, via them) so soon. Towards the end of our dinner, Ben began crying again. He was overtired, feverish, and he just told us all why he was available for adoption. But I know how to comfort a crying little guy. I scooped him into my arms, crooned, rubbed his back and carried him home. David climbed into bed with him and rubbed his back until he went to sleep. We both kissed John goodnight, of course, but he remains quiet and distant.Time. Yes, we know it takes time to develop a relationship with an older child. We hope that at some point John will share with us his feelings too.

Adoption March 24th

I didn’t blog yesterday because I was too tired. We went to the Great Wall of China with Cheng’s mom. The van (with our guide) picked us up at 9am, and we arrived at the Great Wall about 10:40am.The entry point that we visited is one of the more natural areas, without the addition of cable cars and elevators to assist tourists. We hiked up a million, or maybe more, steep steps to the first summit, ate our picnic lunch that we packed and hiked back down. David, Cheng’s mom, and I were huffing and puffing the whole way up, while the kids had no problems whatsoever. Even little Ben climbed 99% of the time by himself. David did have to carry him down at points because the steps were so big he would have had to jump from step to step, and he would’ve fallen for sure. When we got back down, our legs were literally shaking. It was quite the work-out, to say the least, and well worth the trip. It’s hard to describe the scope of the Great Wall, so I won’t even try. I’ll just post photos when I get back to the States and have access to my blog. After all that climbing, who do you think stayed awake on the return trip to Beijing? Yep. Our little Ben. He is just like Austin sometimes—outlasts everyone. On the way back to the hotel, we stopped at the Bird’s Nest, the Olympic site. We walked around there for an hour or so and took lots of photos. It was pretty cool. We found out, via our guide’s translation, that John actually attended one of the swimming events during the Olympics!! We have yet to tour a site that he hasn’t already seen. During the day, several groups of tourists asked Connor if they could take a photo with him. Connor has blond hair and blue eyes and everyone thinks he is handsome. We must look like the oddest family. We are obviously a family to even casual observers (we are quite physical with each other), but we don’t speak the same language and we don’t look related. After all the touring, we decided we’d just relax for the rest of the day in the room. Cheng’s mom went back to her hotel, and we got Subway subs for dinner. As picky as Ben is, we were shocked that he ate a Subway Sub with no problem. He refuses all vegetables normally, yet, he didn’t think to pick off the lettuce, cucumber, tomato etc. on the sandwich. He previously told us (via Xiao’s translation) that his favorite food was McDonalds and KFC, and now we find he is quite happy to eat Subway too. He’s going to have a whole lot of adjusting to do because we rarely eat fast-food at home. After dinner we all went to bed, even though it was only 7pm. Ben began crying at bedtime, asking for Cheng’s mom (who he calls auntie), or maybe he was asking for his foster mother, or another aunt. We kissed him goodnight and tucked him into bed with his brothers. It’s a good thing we went to bed early because Ben woke up crying about 11pm, and that was it for us for the rest of the night. We brought him into our bed, and alternated between giving him drinks to keep him hydrated, and taking him to the bathroom. He is running a low-grade fever, just as Connor was the other day. He is also crying that his legs hurt, which is not surprising considering the big hike the day before. Unfortunately, this morning we need to go to Civil Affairs, the Notary Office, and the Passport Office. We gave Ben Ibroprophen, and we are hoping he’ll be ok today. It might be a very,very, long day, dragging around a sick little guy. Unfortunately, we can't change the appointments or it will affect our return trip date. Connor’s illness resolved itself in 24 hours, so we have our fingers crossed.

Adoption March 22, 2010

This morning we went to the office of Civil Affairs to complete legal paperwork for the adoption. It was long and tedious, but painless overall. The boys wrestled and played in the waiting room for most of the hour, except when we had to obtain fingerprints for John and Ben. John was quite serious about signing the documents (Ben only had to leave a handprint in ink), and both boys seemed happy about the adoption. The Civil Affairs worker congratulated John and he smiled. As I said before, although John is quiet,he does smile a lot. While we were waiting for our appointment,the guide of another family came up to me to tell me (in English)that my older son (referring to John) is a very good boy. She knew him from the orphanage somehow, and she wanted to assure me that we will be happy with our new son. We have no doubt. Also, while we were waiting, I questioned our guide (George) about Ben’s reported age (6 ½), and asked why he tells everyone he is 5. George showed us the newspaper ad(dated Nov. 2003) that was placed to try to find Ben’s parents. An advertisement and search for parents is required for six months before a child is released for adoption. Obviously, if he was several months old in Nov. 2003 when the newspaper ad was run, then in 2010 Ben will be 7 years old. The guide asked Ben again in Chinese his age, and again Ben said 5. The guide then told him, “After the spring festival, you turned 6.” Forty-five minutes later the Civil Affairs worker asked Ben how old he is, and he answered 6. He also told her his zodiac is “goat.” I looked up the year of the goat, and yes, Ben was born in 2003. Problem solved; he is 6 years old. I also found out from the guide that the mess we were walking through on Saturday was a real sandstorm! We read about it in today’s newspaper too. No wonder we were so miserable,and we couldn’t breathe on the way to the museum. There is a ton of smog here, but the yellow dust and dirt that was in the air was highly unusual. After the Civil Affairs appointment this morning, we went to a medical clinic for Ben’s T.B. test. He was very brave and did not complain or cry, and the medical personnel were wonderful. They took him right in and fussed over Ben. It made be feel comfortable with the hospital, in case we end up needing medical treatment. Speaking of which, I forgot to mention that Connor woke up with a fever this morning. I medicated him and took him with us to the appointments because we had no choice. Hopefully, he hasn’t contracted anything serious. Right now, David and Connor are resting, while Ben terrorizes the joint. I’ll bet Connor feels better after he gets some rest. Like the two of us, Connor isn’t sleeping well due to the time-change.
It’s 10p now, and I’ve been up since 3:30am, so I’m ready for bed. I just hope that maybe tonight I’ll sleep through the night. I need the energy for our Great Wall of China trip tomorrow morning. Tonight we went to a famous Beijing Duck restaurant. It was the equivalent of the Hof Brau House in Germany in both size and reputation. Cheng’s parents took us, of course, and it was only two subway stops away. It was a huge hall, and loud, which made it easier for us since we can’t easily talk to each other anyway. There was a plethora of food again, and most of it duck based. We had duck feet (I was not impressed), duck liver, duck gizzards, duck filled dumplings and duck meat wraps etc. Ben told Cheng’s dad as we sat down that he wanted MEAT. It’s so funny that he’s such a picky eater. He only wants lean meat and rice; sometimes he’ll eat watermelon, but that’s about all. It seems as if John spends a great deal of time trying to get Ben to cooperate. I don’t think John realizes that we’ve been there, done that; we can outlast a hyperactive, stubborn, demanding child. Or at least we could when we were younger! Finally, though, Ben is taking an interest in learning English. Up until now, when I’d tell him anything in English, such as the floor number, Ben would get irate and tell me over and over the word in Chinese. Tonight he began to count 1 2 3 in English, and he is calling Connor by name now. He also is beginning to recognize his own name as Ben. On the walk back from the restaurant, we passed Tiananmen Square, all lit up at night. It was impressive, and Ben was absolutely thrilled. He bounced around, shouted, and called out the building names. He was like a kid in Disney World, and he insisted I take a ton of pictures. Ben was even more excited than when we went to the Museum of Natural History and he saw the dinosaurs. He told Cheng’s parents that he’s seen all these places in photos. It was adorable, to say the least. John took it all in stride; he’s had school field trips to Tiananmen Square. John also went to the Great Wall on a school field trip last year. Oh well. We are going anyway. Cheng’s parents were originally going to return home on Sunday, but it looks like they are going to stay longer. We are all having such a great time together that they extended their trip. Unfortunately, Xiao had to return to school today. We’ll see him again when he begins school in the US in August.He will come visit us during breaks too.