Sunday, March 21, 2010
adoption day 1 cont.
It’s 2:00AM, March 20th, and I have so much that I need to write down that I can’t sleep. I know how important it will be to our sons to have every detail of their adoptions preserved, and thoughts keep running through my mind. First of all, I don’t feel as if I captured FengHong’s arrival and personality on paper yet. I need to replay it in my mind, and then get my fingers to cooperate. I hate the keyboard on my new computer (it’s tiny) and that is slowing down my writing. Generally, I can type as fast as I can talk. Now, I am typing so slowly that I have to think slowly too. Anyway, FengHong walked into the lobby of the hotel, looking nervous, but not terrified. Of course, he’s much older than BingHui, and maybe more prepared for the idea of adoption. I approached him first and gave him a little hug. I told him I was his mama. He nodded a little. I called Connor and BingHui over to meet FengHong. For the 30 minutes (while we waited for FengHong) Connor and BingHui had been terrorizing the lobby of the hotel room. Really. They were playing tag and climbing on the furniture and just being loud obnoxious boys. I would not have allowed Connor to behave that way publicly, but I know that he was bonding with BingHui and that is more important than decorum in a hotel lobby. Anyway, Connor and BingHui came over and I introduced them to FengHong as “Didi, and didi” Yes, a year of Chinese lessons and all I can come up with are the words for mother and little brother. I asked the guide to tell FengHong that we just adopted BingHui this morning. I knew that would make him feel better because it is obvious that BingHui is a bit of a firecracker and is having a great time today. Then, the orphanage director asked where FengHong could wash up because he’d been sick in the car. Oh yeah, I totally forgot about that. David stepped in then and offered to take FengHong to the bathroom. Off they went. By the time they came back, FengHong had a shy smile on his face. He still didn’t speak to us, but he was looking around curiously at everything. I had to deal with paperwork for another 15 minutes, and the three boys all began to play in the lobby. We discovered that we were missing a copy of our home-study, so I left David in charge of the wild Indians, all led by Chief Connor, and I went upstairs to get the flashdrive with the scanned copies of all our documents. When I came back downstairs, FengHong was trying to teach Connor a game with a rope and a wheel. It looked like they were going to be ok. with each other. FengHong isn’t much bigger than Connor really, and it was fun to see them playing. BingHui was taking pictures. Oh, I forgot to mention, before I had to go upstairs, BingHui literally grabbed my hand and led me over to the coach next to FengHong. Then he dragged Connor there, and made us “pose” for a photo. He loves the digital camera, and he obviously remembered that in the morning he was required to pose for the camera. I only hope the camera doesn’t break and we lose the photos. He wore out one battery already. I also forgot to mention in my previous entry that BingHui has a little bit of a cold. When we picked him up at the orphanage, I was given two boxes of Chinese medicine to give BingHui. Of course, I have no idea what is in the medicine or how much to give him. Instead of medicating him, we just hand him a tissue whenever his nose is dripping, and he wipes it up and hands me back the tissue. BingHui is quite independent. A curious thing about him though, is that he tells everyone who asks that he is 5 years old. David and I rechecked his documents, and they say that he was born in Aug. 2003, which would make him 6 years old. Generally, if a mistake is made, it is to say a child (who is small) is younger than they actually are, not older. I mean to say that the officials might find a child and estimate his age as 2, when he’s really 3. BingHui is small enough to be 5, it just seems odd that his documents definitely show him entering the orphanage in 2003.We will ask our guide to check on that on Monday. It doesn’t matter to us, but it might influence medical tests etc. Speaking of medical tests, we found out that this morning (actually it would be yesterday morning now) that FengHong was taken to the hospital for a TB test just prior to arriving for the adoption. It’s unfortunate that the children have to have yet one more traumatic experience on the day they meet their new family. The Children’s Welfare number 1 forgot to have BingHui get the TB test, prior to our arrival.Our guide said that it used to be done in Guangzhou as part of the medical exam there, but now (a recent change) it needs to be done at the beginning of the adoption process. That way if the results are abnormal, treatment can be started before flying home to the U.S. Currently, BingHui has a little bit of a cough and a runny nose, and I’m hoping that his congestion doesn’t lead to complications for the test. I have antibiotics that I brought with me, and I’m trying to decide if I should administer them to the boys. Both boys seem healthy overall, but the cautious approach is to treat them here in China for virtually everything before we leave for the U.S. Honestly though, I’m not sure how I’d get BingHui to take the antibiotic if he didn’t want it. He is a stubborn eater and quite definite about what he likes. He takes everything off his plate that he doesn’t want and dumps it on my plate. Mostly, both boys eat rice. BingHui did tell Xiao that his favorite foods are McDonalds and KFC. If I didn’t mention it before, he is full of spit and vinegar. In the pool yesterday, Xiao was trying to talk to BingHui about his age and if he attended school. While they were chatting, I decided to take a photo. Suddenly, Xiao burst into laughter. He told me that BingHui told him to “Stop talking to me!She’s trying to take a picture!” Yep, he’s a bossy little thing too. Xiao said that FengHong said that he doesn’t know his favorite food. We found out that FengHong is in 6th grade at a normal school. That might be age-appropriate because there is sometimes a 3 year age difference between the oldest and the youngest in a certain grade, according to Xiao. Children begin first grade at 7 or 8 years old in China. It also seems as if FengHong understands a little bit of English. Not much, mind you, but a little. I showed him photos of our family and our house and he seemed to understand. Did I mention playing in the pool? There is a children’s wading pool here, and all the kids spent most of the time in that shallow area. FengHong and BingHui spend most of their time splashing Connor. When they double teamed him like that, Connor just jumps out of the shallow pool into the deep water. It’s apparent that both boys had been to swimming pools before and love the water. Whew. They can’t swim, but I see swimming lessons in the future. BingHui also had no issues with the westernized toilet. Within 5 minutes of arriving at the hotel he told David (in Chinese) that he had to go to the bathroom. When David didn’t understand, BingHui yanked on his pants to demonstrate. BingHui has absolutely no trouble communicating with us through pantomime,although he did ask Cheng’s father, “Do you speak Chinese?” FengHong is a bit shy. I forgot to ask David if FengHong had any fears of the flushing toilet. Both boys knew how to brush their teeth, and FengHong brought his own pajamas in his backpack. FengHong, as I said, is much quieter than BingHui, but he seems to be just observing. When we said prayer at dinner, FengHong tried to mimic our motions. He is quietly working things out in his head, it seems. We have only had him with us for about four hours, since he was asleep by 8p. David climbed into the bed with the boys and they watched cartoons for about 5 min. before falling asleep. I’ll write more about FengHong’s personality as I get to know him better tomorrow. We are going to the Museum of History tomorrow with Cheng’s parents, Xiao, and Xiao’s parents. That should be a long, eventful day, so maybe I’d better try to go back to sleep. It’s 3:00AM now and we have to be up in three hours.